Thursday, January 18, 2007

Inviting my fears to a "TEA".

My mom sent me this piece on Malachi... "Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." > This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. > > One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study. > > That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver. > > As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. > > The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." > She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. > > The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If> the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. > > The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" > > He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it." > > If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you. > > This very moment, God is watching over you. And, whatever you're going through, you'll be a better> person in the end."

As I said, my mom sent me the above little piece. It seems that just when I am like at the end of the line, not sure which way to turn and wondering if I am really cut out to be doing what I am about just now, then something like this comes along. I think it amazing that God or Grace or what ever you call this spiritual living that is going on all around us, I just think it amazing to be held to the fire. It is an honor when you stop and think about it. Doesn't all feel so wonderful at the time on days such as yesterday, but as a friend says a lot, "All is good."

I wanted to share something that happened this morning. Sarah, my middle daughter met me at the top of the stairs at like 4:30am this morning. She said she couldn't sleep. So I snuggled her into my bed and we talked. She said she had a dream that this person was chasing her and some other girls. She called it a "bad dream". We talked about the dream being about her and not about some "guy". I told her (I was really telling myself too) that maybe what was chasing her is something trying to get her attention. We talked about her scared feeling as the time for me to go to trial gets closer. I told her that feelings are part of her and that she can invite them in to have a "tea" or she can try to shut the door on them and shoo them away, in which case they will keep on knocking to get in because they belong to her too. So sometimes they might "chase" her to get her attention. We talked about "safe" people to talk about her feeling with in case I am gone. The list of folks is as long as my arm. For me, as her mom, I am so grateful to this community of friends who "mother" me and can also "mother" Sarah should I be away. I find my kids teach me so much about life and living. I worry about them, how they will fair and how to take care of them...Then I laugh because really it does "take a whole village to raise a child." We in this culture, with our rugged individualism, live with a myth that we can take care of everything and don't need community...but really, we so need community and we need the "village" to help us raise up this next generation of peace makers!

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