I am finding it is the simple things that trigger anxiety or fear. The small thing today is this is the time of year, my mid winter ritual,when I go through seed cataloges to plan my gardens for the spring and summer. As I was looking at lettuce, picking which ones I would order when I realized, "Hey, I might not be here for spring planting time." Gosh this is getting way too real. Small thing, a bunch of seed cataloges...the big things I can see coming, the small things blind side me.
But then as I am fretting about missing tilling the soil with the "new/old" tiller, I get a letter from a friend that encourages me, lifting me out of the doldrums. If I am sent to prison, maybe my kids can plant the spring veggies and send pictures. I think that would satisfy my need to work the earth.