The letter came yesterday. I am to report to Carswell FMC in Fort Worth, TX on April 17th. I am in shock at the moment. It is a roller coaster ride. Up and down...More downs right now than ups. This is 700+ miles from my home. So I won't get visitors. I am not feeling sorry for myself. I am just sad. Shocked and sad. To some of you who read this blog, you might be tempted to think I got what I deserved. But I have concluded that no one should be a number. No one should have their "number" keyed into a computer and have a computer decide their lives. I have a short two month sentence. What about the poor person who has 2 or 4 or 8 or a lifetime sentence??? My God, I could not fathom the despair they must feel! My blood boils when folks say, "they deserve this." Hell NO! No one deserves this!
More and more I see how much I am not a person to the BOP Bureau of Prison. This is not right! Not for me, not for anyone! People deserved to be treated as people. If someone thinks prisoners are not people well we are back at the time when slaves were not thought of as people but property. It is how the BOP thinks about prisoners...Property. They announce when you walk into the doors for the first time, "YOU ARE NOW THE PROPERTY OF THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF PRISONS" I am not kidding! To them I am #92944-020...nothing more. And what would someone learn if, day after day, they are refered to as a number? Their self esteem goes down the drain.
People can say, "You broke the law and deserve to be punished." Yes, we have a system of punishment. No rehabilation...No help to be a better person. I am sorry if I am on a war path here. I don't mean to be. I now know how powerless inmates feel, how dehumanizing the prison system is set up to be.
It just makes me sad.